Valentine @ KFC

Valentine day is a day of expression. You express your love for that someone special. In other words, it is a day on which record number of people say “I LOVE U” and hope to say the same a year later to hopefully the same person. This day is the most planned of all days in the entire calendar. Everything from “good mornings” to “good nights” is planned well in advance. Important office/college work is kept on hold just so that the mornings and nights are not only good but excellent.

The planning is not only confined to the people who do a “celebration” of love but also by the resource providers. Who are they you may ask? These are no one but the florist, Archie’s gallery, hallmark people who sell stuff at higher prices on this day with a view to recover all their year’s costs! All in the name of providing your respective love one day of happiness which should be enough to last for a year (even though you don’t care to express it for the next 364 days).

But ultimately it is the pressure to conform to such rituals which drives all couples to conjure various routes of expression. Hence I set out on a journey of self righteousness to find a way to provide the most perfect articulation of love. Heavy isn’t it?

It was my 1st valentine and I made the biggest rookie mistake – I forgot to plan! So here I was on 12th February amidst high valentine day inflation to create a plan out of nothing. Then in a “Home Alone” kind of way, I drew up a baby plan to support the cause. Flowers in the morning, good happiness lunch in the afternoon, snacks on the house and then a lavish dinner. Pls don’t ask for the quotations for this plan. Let’s just say that if there was anything more than this, I would have most certainly required to take a small loan or something from friends, family, RBI etc.

“Ye bouquet ka 300 rupees hoga sahib (this bouquet is for Rs 300 sir)” barked the extremely busy florist. 300 bucks for something I would call a small twig planted in a takeaway pav bhaji style plastic container with a few roses who most certainly passed their prime (they might as well have been last year’s valentine day rejects). When I complained about the sky high price and quality, the florist replied “2 din pehle toh aisa hi hota hai, kya aapka pehla hai kya? Log toh pehle se hi order kar lete hai! Dekhiye Bhabhiji ko kush karna ho toh ye chal jayega…nahi toh thoda aur paise dalke “MEGA Bouquet” le sakte ho. Ek Cadbury iske saath free hai (you will get such prizes 2 days prior to V-day. I think this is your 1st time. Others do ordering in advance. Let me tell you something, add some more money, get this bouquet on which you get a Cadbury free!)”. WOW!! Valentine day combo offer from a florist for my lady love! There can be nothing more uncomfortable than to discuss what my lady love would like and what not with a florist!

Then with a lot of lightness in my wallet (around 350 rupees lighter – 50 rupees “special delivery charges”) I gave the florist the address of delivery and then went off. On 13th February, I realized another fact – I haven’t purchased any gift! Getting off my bus @ 9:15 pm, I rushed to Archies gallery fearing that it might be closed. But no, it was open, special valentine day thing where they remain open for a fairer part of the night for bakras like me who forget stuff! The guys at such shops are really laid back people who know that I am the person in need and would give any prize to escape the wrath of my lady love. They have catalogue specially placed to confuse you and put you in a bigger dilemma – what to get! Finally after going through the entire catalogue for more than 45 minutes, I got a gift which would ensure that I am safe for at least a year.

So the day finally arrived, my 1st valentine day! Morning was perfect. I got up, called her in order to make her day. Then I got my 1st shock, the florist who was suppose to reach her place by 8 am was late in a big way! Maybe the logistics calculation went wrong somewhere! Anyways, I was at a loss, 350 bucks on a bouquet and no smile on her face - a raw deal indeed. I liaised with her roommate to ensure that she was late that day. The place worked and they got the bouquet on the road to office! A smile on the face which implied 350 rupees well spent!

Lunch and snacks went to plan and through my wallet! Office was a breeze that day as most of the people were either busy forwarding valentine day emails or on call with their respective partners. Basically, telecom industry works and toils hard for this day! Surprisingly this day doesn’t see any network congestion or sms delay! It’s like they flip a switch to get that extra spectrum for such times!

Anyways, after an eventful day @ office, we left for dinner which highlighted my second mistake – No reservations! Guys and girls, let me tell you something, you can forget the flowers, gifts and cards, but you cannot afford to forget reservation, single most important aspect on valentine day - something which can make or break your day, something which puts the “!” mark or “?” mark on your love commitment!

However, this was my second mistake and I had to deal with it. We went to a restaurant and asked for a table for 2. When explained about the absence of a reservation, the guy at the reception gave a chuckle and asked us to wait for a very small duration of time – 90 mins - to get a table. Sighting some good opportunities on the horizon, we left the 1st place and went to another one. Slowly, slowly, the horizon became an oasis and the prospect of having a nice fun filled dinner was looking like a remote possibility.

Finally, the most regrettable decision was taken and we headed over to KFC for our valentine day dinner. The shock of my life would have been a waiting list for that place also, but God isn’t that cruel. KFC, McDonalds are places made for boneheads like us who forget the 1 important things on a day like this. So, there I was, in KFC, at a small table, biting in on a freshly oiled chicken drumstick and pushing towards her the gift of Valentine! She was happy! After a very average day, she was happy and that put the “!” mark in the relationship!

I would never forget this day on 2 counts, it taught me the very beautiful yet often ignored art of planning and KFC chicken is really good!